A parenthesis in eternity

To awaken is the greatest miracle of this world!   Throughout the day I notice being more open, available, sensitive and softer. I suspect this comes from understanding myself in a new way.  Tasting the fullness of life takes courage.  Although it’s not always easy, living deadened is no longer an option.   There’s a pop song by Hailee Steinfeld with the refrain, “I didn’t know I was starving ‘til I tasted you.” That line playfully captures the sweetness I find in both the intimate and sensual experiences of spiritual Oneness and sexual freedom.  I’m learning that there’s so much more to life than just surviving.  Life is richer, fuller.  I see beauty in people and places I may easily have overlooked in the past.  Sometimes the day and night move in slow motion, as if asking be taken in more fully.  I am keenly aware of my own sorrow, sadness and confusion at times; sometimes unbearable, but not really.  Surrender to the present moment, to whatever is here, say yes without reservation. I absolutely would not be writing this without the guidance and support of teachers who have lived experiences of love, loss, metamorphosis and the changeless nature of their own being. The universe has provided me with two significant people who inspire my courage and share with humor, humility and grace.  I am so grateful for the intimacy and Love that binds us.

The following are selected excerpts from a parenthesis in eternity, Joel S. Goldsmith, 1963.  As mentioned in earlier blogs, this book is one that I was led to by a spiritual guide.  And it continues to bring light to my experience of communion.  I am drawn to his writing too because it reminds me that the questions and mysteries of the heart are ageless.  It’s ok to live with the mysteries.

“Locked up in you is the power to attract to the word of God all those who are seeking God. Learn to tabernacle with God, to commune with God at the center of your being.  Meet God there every day.  And there, too, you can meet all the other people that you have known on the spiritual path.  Go within yourself and meet them there.  You can never be alone – those you know on the spiritual path are always with you”

“Every word of truth that God has ever uttered is locked up within you.  Loose it and let it go, but never tell this secret except to those of your spiritual household.  Do not expose you “pearl” to those who are not connoisseurs of pearls.  Do not ever give anyone an opportunity to ridicule your inner life.  Do not let anyone try to destroy your faith, your understanding, or your wisdom.”  (Since this blog has a spiritual focus, I trust this is safe to ponder here amongst friends and other light travelers.) 

“Each one who maintains some measure of the realization of the Absolute has a work to perform, and part of that work is imparting the Absolute to those few who are able to receive it.”

“Although there are some few in the history of the world who have come to earth so highly endowed spiritually that they have received the impartation of the Spirit directly by Grace without the intervention or help of a teacher, the vast majority of those who have attained the realization of the Absolute have attained it through a teacher.”

‘Many are called, but few are chosen.’  “There are many who receive some spiritual light, but instead of instantly saying “Ah, I must follow this to the end’, they usually are content to rest in the additional comfort gained.  They accept the increased human good and are satisfied with it, rather than seeking to find the principle that brought it about.  Spiritual evolution comes about not in one lifetime: it comes about over a period of many, many lifetimes.  There are those who receive some measure of spiritual light, but aside from using it to gain better health, more abundant supply, or more satisfying companionship, go no further with it.  This, however, gives them such a firm foundation that in their next parenthesis they go higher, and it is possible that in the one following that, or the one after, they will attain the highest initiation and receive the illumination of the Absolute.”

 

Heavy

Heavy –  Poem by Mary Oliver  (from Thirst, 2006)

That time
I thought I could not
go any closer to grief
without dying

I went closer,
and I did not die.
Surely God
had His hands in this,

as well as friends.
Still, I was bent
and my laughter,
as the poet said,

was nowhere to be found.
Then said my friend Daniel
(brave even among lions),
“It’s not the weight you carry

but how you carry it –
books, bricks, grief –
it’s all in the way
you embrace it, balance it, carry it

when you cannot and would not,
put it down.”
So I went practicing.
Have you noticed?

Have you heard
the laughter
that comes, now and again,
out of my startled mouth?

How I linger
to admire, admire, admire
the things of this world
that are kind, and maybe

also troubled –
roses in the wind,
the sea geese on the steep waves,
a love
to which there is no reply?

Here I am

My Lover finds beauty in
my vulnerability and calls me closer,
even when discomfort feels unbearable.

He is intimately present
in my longing and yearning.
Like sparkling ripples on the Soundthat glisten with oneness.

The path can go one way or another –
each time you’ll go the right way.
You are moving closer to yourself.

My Lover holds me tenderly
even when I feel misunderstood and alone.
Lean in on chilly Spring days.
Abandon the illusion of separateness.

It’s ok, to say “Really?”
See Me in all your questions,
doubts and confusion too.

Then relax,
laugh out loud and often.
I like it when you do.

Dare to stay open
even as you risk the pleasure
or pain of making love.
My Lover is desire Itself.

Do not be afraid to cry.
A unique portal is designed for you alone.
Your grief cannot harm you in anyway.  I am your tears.

Trust in synchronicity.
Everyone and everything in your experience
is for your awakening.
Honor your participation in this boundless mystery.

Say yes to all experience.
I am presence and will NEVER leave you.
Your soul is called to this journey,
in this time, this place.

Your heart knows your own changelessness.
Live knowingly as that.

Stay true

Don’t Hesitate   – by Mary Oliver

If you suddenly and unexpectedly feel joy,
don’t hesitate. Give in to it. There are plenty
of lives and whole towns destroyed or about
to be. We are not wise, and not very often
kind. And much can never be redeemed.
Still, life has some possibility left. Perhaps this
is its way of fighting back, that sometimes
something happens better than all the riches
or power in the world. It could be anything,
but very likely you notice it in the instant
when love begins. Anyway, that’s often the
case. Anyway, whatever it is, don’t be afraid
of its plenty. Joy is not made to be a crumb.

Knowing the nature of our true being, opens up an
awareness that expresses itself not so much in words
as in feelings. Mary Oliver’s poems reflect her deep
understanding and experience of Oneness in nature
and unexpected moments of being One with.
Her poetry invites us to honor the divine impulse within.
She helps me feel
closer to myself.

My life is full of wonder, mystery,
desire and longing;  like an early Spring!
I hear a soft voice within
whisper reassuringly that I’m close to home.
Joy is not meant to be a crumb!

There is much yet for me to learn.
And I am reminded, as the path unfolds…stay true.