I believe in all that has never yet been spoken
-from Rilke’s Book of Hours: Love Poems to God, by Rainer Maria Rilke
Translated by Joanna Macy
I believe in all that has never yet been spoken.
I want to free what waits within me
so that what no one has dared to wish for
may for once spring clear
without my contriving.
If this is arrogant, God, forgive me,
but this is what I need to say.
May what I do flow from me like a river,
no forcing and no holding back,
the way it is with children.
Then in these swelling and ebbing currents,
these deepening tides moving out, returning,
I will sing you as no one ever has,
streaming through widening channels
into the open sea.
And now a few crazed ramblings on waking up from the dream of being separate. What I am cannot be remembered; no memory necessary. Am I the dream or dreamer? There’s an awakening which expresses Itself in a simplicity, an ease, a deep, quiet faith in this place-less place. What I think and how I feel, is Love revealing Itself and knowing Itself through my being. This warms me. I believe that God fine tunes our experiences uniquely for each of us, giving hints and glimpses, teachers, adversity, opportunities to experience that which we became incarnate to learn. And as we pay attention and listen to our most authentic self emerging, our life becomes a song of the Eternal, a playground for God. All has already been accepted. The consequences of this have been life changing. What waits within me reveals Itself in the experience of Love.
Recently I asked my spiritual teacher if he will remember me after we no longer see each other here. Will “I” be recognized, even after the physical form of who I am or who he is gone? He said, without hesitation, “I will know you, even after my memory of you has gone.” No greater gift could I have received. I’m learning to listen to my heart. These words crystallized my belief that pure Awareness knows pure Awareness. My immediate experience was the collapse of a me and a you. This, the recognition of our shared being is Love.
I imagine that Rilke had the experience of knowing that all of life, our creativity, compassion, expression of our humanity, this being and becoming, learning, always more to learn here is Consciousness playing, dancing, laughing in all the diversity of our selves. The nature of this reality, can’t really be measured or spoken, because who I am is that already. It’s a knowing without knowing. Rumi writes “In the existence of your Love, ‘I’ become non-existent. What waits within me is continuing to evolve, like new fronds unfolding on a fern, like thousands of miracles occurring every day, knowing Love is here, Love is never not now.